dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize