I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
