She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i think i scared a bird with my dick
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
