Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
