well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
