He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
