Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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