Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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