You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
