i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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