I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
