What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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