I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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