I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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