This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Mom said you looked used
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize