You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
