is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize