I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
