You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
ttyl tear gas
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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