i think i have two assholes
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
