Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
