I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
