we have pet lesbian snakes
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
