that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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