My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
