are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
