i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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