Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
