either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
