Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize