They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
