This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize