Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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