The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
