What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
