all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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