he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
