Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
