her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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