the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize