I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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