Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
