is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
