hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
