new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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