You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize