fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
