I could have mohawked her pubes.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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