I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
