The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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