he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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