also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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