Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
