We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
