Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
