im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
What a dumb baby whore.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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