Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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