You're completely useless in the revolution.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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