she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
