I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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