is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
