Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
People in love make me want to vomit
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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