My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
