Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
