four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
