i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
