It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
