so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize