are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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